Goodbye...

Goodbye dear Shan. Goodbye to who you have always been.

Shan lived in survival mode for so long her body could not handle it. It broke down—leaving her bedridden, in pain and in a black void of depression.

She carried other’s burdens like they were hers—her mother’s, her father’s, her friends, co-workers and ancestors. No one ever asked her to pick up their worries, fears or heartaches, but she cared so deeply for them that she felt she had no choice, as to set them down meant severing their love. (Lies)

She swirled in negative thought loops, all or nothing thinking patterns getting lost in a tornado of “what if’s” and “why’s”.

Grief was the stone she drug from chains wrapped around her waist, carrying generations of trauma, pain and loss.

“Hello, my name is…I am not safe and I am not smart were the badges she chose to wear.

Her body—she fluctuated in weight from being anorexic to obese and everywhere in between like a yoyo thanks to her best friends, stress and fear. Those two accompanied her everywhere and we would like to thank them for serving her in “survival mode” and ask you to please exit the room now.

She slept walked through many moments of her life, because facing reality was too hard.

As The Year of the Snake began, she woke up.

She recognized she’d been living a lie. One made up in her mind from her old friends, fear, stress and overwhelm. She faced the truth—she got to choose her next move—either get up or lay down forever. She chose to shed her old skin and emerge a new version of herself. She took steps to kill off the old “friends” she’d been believing.

She faced herself in the mirror and told herself, “I love you. I forgive you. I’m sorry. Thank you.” She detoxed herself from medications keeping her sick, with the illusion of masking pain. She ended old cycles by learning what her patterns looked like and choosing new ones. She put herself first. She wrote her stories down and let them stream out of her like healing elixirs and learned to stop apologizing for missteps and put down what wasn’t hers to carry. She extinguished the flames of the past within her.

Today, she carries the scars and ignites a new flame—that of the Fire Horse! She is reborn and is calling in the following:

• Awake and awareness

• Movement

• Power and authentic speech

• A calm, peaceful and triggerless nervous system

• Creativity

• Expansion in all areas

• First-class travel

• New experiences

• Honing her crafts, becoming the go-to mala guru in the USA and a best-selling author and the speaker others can’t wait to book.

• Proficient at social media

• Abundant in every way

• And most importantly, someone who knows exactly who she is

  
  

What did you shed this past year? What are you calling in this year? Drop me a note.